A few rotten apples do kind of ruin the bunch!

I posted a question yesterday in a multiples support group asking if anyone ever hired a night nurse or other kind of help.  I didn't feel the need to give any context to my post: 6 kids under 4, no family in town, husband works shift, etc.  I just kind of naturally assumed that a group of moms of multiples would understand this kind of question.  The first response was "Ha! No."  Ouch, that one kind of hurt a bit, especially because I don't personally know any moms.  Was this an "I wish" or "I would never dream of doing such a thing?"  And then a few posts later another mom commented something like: "I would never and could never.  The bonding at night is just too important."  Call it hormones, call it over sensitive, call it whatever you want, I started to cry.  Now I felt like I needed to defend myself.  Now my parenting of my 3 children who had not yet arrived was already being called into question.  Another mom said, "family can come and help.  my mom came for 6 weeks."  That's great, family is wonderful.  Not every family has the schedule to just leave a full-time job, and sometimes family members are ill.  There were supportive comments throughout this thread, but isn't always the ones that seem ambiguous or a bit judgmental that leave the biggest impression.  I began explaining my situation and some people "took back" what they had said earlier.  Perhaps some of those things shouldn't have been said in the first place.  Does a mom really have to give her whole history every time she asks a question?

Then I started thinking about all the other things I may likely do when the triplets arrive that I have seen so many people say "I would never,"  "What kind of mother does..."  And I thought, well shit, as if parenting isn't hard enough, now I'm adding very special circumstances into the mix, and those circumstances may require me to change how and what I have done as a mother to date. They aren't things that make me any better or worse.  They were just my preference for my kids.   I might use formula.  I might use these things  to help feed my babies.  Guess what, my babies might cry.  I may not wear them enough to your liking.  They may spend more time in a swing than you would prefer.  I may stick a pacifier in their mouth.  Or perhaps drive a car without a tether.  All of these things don't really define us as mothers, they don't determine who gets mother of the year and who is an epic failure.  Every mother, I believe, is just trying to do her best.  Sometimes a mother's best is not screaming, or going on a field trip, or reading a stack of books, or simply getting out of bed.

I just ask that if your opinions don't align with mine it might be best to hide my feed on facebook, stop reading my blog, or just unfriend me altogether.  Honestly, I can't even believe I writing a post like this, but I have a feeling it is going to get hard.  When I was preparing for my VBAC and my HBAC I fought to protect my "space" from outside negativity and opinions.  Moms and women, for whatever reason, can't seem to let each other catch a break.  We can't seem to just support and encourage, it doesn't mean we have to agree.  I will end this post with one of my most favorite blog posts, I think she said it much more eloquently than I did!

Learning about nutrition with multiples

Nutrition in any pregnancy is important.  But nutrition in a multiples pregnancy is paramount!  Good nutrition, mainly a diet high in protein, can increase a mom’s chance of carrying her babies further to term!  Good nutrition isn’t new to me, but more so than any pregnancy I am making it a top priority, second to raising my 3 girls.  Eating well has also helped me move from fear and feeling like I have no control over the future of my pregnancy and my babies to feeling like an active participant and as though my actions will actually make a difference.  I am so fortunate to have such a large group of knowledgeable moms, some I know personally, others I’ve met through groups on Facebook, so help me maximize my protein consumption!  Dr Luke specializes in nutrition and multiple pregnancies, I’m planning to order her book Twins, Triplets, and Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy.  The  Brewer’s Twin diet  has provided a great deal of help in terms of figuring out how much 140-170g of protein actually looks like over the course of the day.

Basically, it is recommended that a mother expecting triplets consume approximately 140-170g of protein a day.  To give you an idea of how much that actually is 1 egg is 5g, 3oz T-bone steak is 21g, a stick of string cheese is 6g.   Needless to say I have gotten creative, or rather stepped outside of the box when it comes to protein.  I’ve introduced hemp protein powder.  Hemp, apparently, has the largest amount source of protein for a plant-based product.  I add 2 TBS, which gives me 6g of protein, to my smoothies 3 times a day.  I think every smoothie has been different since introducing it into my diet Tuesday night:

                Smoothie one: Milk, frozen pineapple and mango, hemp

                Smoothie Two: kale, V8 splash, and hemp

                Smoothie 3: Greek yogurt, chai, chia, and hemp

                Smoothie 4: Milk, chocolate chips, frozen peaches and strawberries, and hemp

So far the chocolate chip smoothie is the best, surprised?  The Chai one initially was disgusting!  But, the more I drank the more I liked it.  It’s a good way to get a little energy boost.  But next time I need to remember either not so much chai or have something else in my stomach because I was a little jittery for a few minutes.  Other “super foods” that have been recommended to me are: nutritional yeast, chia, and spirulina.  Chia, when I remember, usually goes into my smoothies and my energy balls. 

I think what I need to do in order to have more snacky protein, other than sausage balls (but, oh my goodness, they are delicious!) is to start baking again.  Seeds, powders, and such can be added to muffins, cookies, and to my no-bake energy balls.  It’s really just a matter of setting my mind to it and doing it. I started a "eating for triplets"" board on pinterest to help me in my quest!

I took a break from this post and did some baking. I came across an awesome gluten free, high protein cookie recipe!  Each cookie has 9g of protein!  It’s made with chia, coconut oil, oats, hemp, flax, and all sorts of other goodness.  The girls and Taylor thought they were delicious.  I don’t mind carrying cookies around with me all day to snack on!  Thank you, AlphaMom for the awesome recipe.  I made some modifications: honey for molasses, almond flour for almond meal (although perhaps they are the same thing?), hulled hemp and flax for oat bran, GF flour and oats rather than gluten.

I made an appointment to see a nutritionist at the hospital.  I am curious to see if the recommendations are similar to what I have read regarding high protein.  If it’s not, I’m inclined to ignore the nutritionist, ha!  That appointment is Wednesday, I will be sure to share any tid-bits that I learn.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made

It’s been 24 hour since I found out we are expecting triplets.  Twenty-four hours later my emotions, much like yesterday, are all over the map: fear, anxiety, amazement, hopeful, shock, nervous, and excited.  Fearful and anxious, did I mention that already?  It is so perfect that when I awoke this morning that the verse running through my mind was Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”   Initially, what stood out to me in this verse was “fearful” and then “wonderful.”  I am full of fear.  Can my body give and sustain life to three little beings for the long haul?  Will I have a c omplete breakdown and fall into an abyss?  Will my little babies, after being attached to me for months, be separated from me, hooked up to machines?  Will I be able to nurse, will I even want to nurse?  Who will care for my family should I need to go on bedrest?  And then there are the normal pregnancy birth fears: giving birth!  I think the next verse I need to dwell on is "casting our anxieties on Him..."

 What is amazing is as each fear crosses my mind I am reminded of the other key word in that verse “wonderful.”  The scripture does not talk about how scary things are, about anxiety, but rather how wonderful it all is!  Wow!  As I sat down to write this entry I took a closer look at the verse and looking at it again this stood out to me: “your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Everything God does, creates, and touches is wonderful.  He never disappoints.  Only God could create three babies inside of me.  It is all God.  It is His timing, it is His will, and it is His creation.  Each of my children were created and designed specifically for their placement in our family.  His works are wonderful.  If I didn’t know or believe it before, He has given me the opportunity to learn and experience His wonderful works  with these three babies.  Amazed.

If you don’t know my past birth history, here is a brief rundown.  Birth #1, Evelyn Elizabeth (Nov 1 2009): Planned natural child birth turned to an unnecessary cesarean section.  Birth #2, Lucy Ruth (March 28, 2011) Hospital VBAC.  Birth #3, Josie Helene (January 13, 2013)  HBAC Birth Story.  Birth #4 was supposed to be an HBAC.  I did a lot of research before birth #1 to learn about natural child birth  Then in preparation for my VBAC I learned the ACOG guidelines forwards and backwards, I could spout statistics, and list the risks and benefits of VBAC vs RCS, in addition I learned about homebirth.  I was rather well versed in VBAC and homebirth.  I came up against some ignorant comments: Do you want your baby to die?  That one was always my “favorite.”  When I found out I was pregnant with #3 I had already done my homework.  I knew the risks and benefits associated with a homebirth.  I knew I could give birth vaginally.  All I had to do was give birth.  That was a very awesome place to be in.  No fighting and no proving anything.

 When I got pregnant with #4 I felt even more at ease.  With two VBACs under my belt I was set.  I just needed to wait out the 9 months for the birth.  Triplets change everything.  In a moment I went from low to high risk, hands off and low-intervention to all hands on-deck and high-intervention birth.  I went from knowing a lot to not even knowing what it’s called when “surprise, you some how magically have three babies at once.”  It’s called “spontaneous,” if you didn’t know.  So I think it’s suffice to say that my birth experiences can be likened to “31 Flavors.”  I suppose an advocate has to really know her stuff, ha! 

So now I have a huge learning curve.  Calcium, water and protein are key and can add days, even weeks to my babies gestation.  And when  the little ones are expected to be preterm every day matters.  My diaper bag today is filled with various protein options: hard boiled eggs, nuts, cooked sausage, salami from Cutrer’s and hummus.  I want to start seeing my natropath again so I can the perfect regimen of supplements for my growing body and babies.  If the possibility of a vaginal birth is to remain on the “table” I really have to do my part.  I have to be more active in this pregnancy than I have ever before.  Heck, if I want to merely extend gestation I have to be active. 

What I know and what I am experiencing:

*Sunday I will be 9w and it is already a little uncomfortable laying on my stomach.

*Rest and sleep feels out of the question right now, there is just far too much racing through my mind.  If you would, pray for a peaceful mind.

*The odds of spontaneously conceiving triplets is 1 in 8100

*I have decided to embrace the added chub and not hide the pregnancy.  I’m busting out the maternity clothes.

*Triplets typically make it to 32w, giving them a head size equivalent to an orange.  That’s much smaller than a baby’s head at 40 or 42w!

*Multiples and singletons grow at the same rate until late in pregnancy in which case the growth of multiples slows down.

How multiples grow

I think I have been all over the place with this post.  I suppose I will end with a sentiment that many friends have shared with me: God chose me and my family for this abundant blessing.  

HBAC: Josie Helene's Birth Story

The Journey Begins

I never thought a home birth would be for me.  Only crazy people did that, right?  My best friend had a home birth, that was my first real exposure to it.  Then I joined a natural birth community in Louisiana when I was pregnant with Evelyn and it opened my eyes a bit more.  But it still seemed too “fringe” for me.  Then I had Evelyn, via unnecessarean, and home birth didn’t sound so crazy to me.  Several months later I got pregnant with Lucy.  Home birth actually came up in my mind as a viable option.  In one of my first visits with my current HCP I asked if he supported home birth.  That’s quite a change in less than 2 short years.  But I learned of the importance of quality care and discovered this kind of care is really best achieved at home with a midwife.  I must admit, some of my wanting a home birth was to prove that home birth is safe and natural.  I learned however that to HBAC in Louisiana is extremely difficult.  It wasn’t a fight I was willing to fight.  I also had doubts in my body being able to go through all of labor and birth, after all it didn’t “work” the first time around with Evelyn.  So I agreed to do a VBAC in the hospital with baby #2 and home birth should we be blessed with baby # 3.  After 22 hours of natural labor, I had my successful VBAC.  I was now a prime candidate for a home birth.  I’ve been envisioning how everything will play out in my mind for months.  Do I want to labor upstairs or down?  Do I want the girls around? Do I want a doula in addition to my fabulous midwife?  Will I like the idea of not having food delivered to me whenever I call for it, even if it is less than edible food? 

Well, baby #3 is here.  I thought the main obstacle would be cost.  Our insurance is great and so a birth for us in a hospital setting is affordable, possibly even cheaper than a home birth.  Perhaps cost shouldn’t be a major factor, but it is.  I recently learned that I will encounter more obstacles than just determining how much I want to spend.  I “proved” my pelvis, whatever the hell that means.  Because it was broken before?  Give me a flippin break!  I have to get permission from the Louisiana Medical Board.  I have a hunch how that will go: we have the highest cesarean rate in the country, March of Dimes rated Louisiana F in all areas of maternal and infant care, and the president of LACOG is a complete moron and wasn’t afraid to hide it infront of the Health and Welfare Committee on May 2.  We are also in a time in our country in which female reproductive choices aren’t left up to the women, that would just be silly, but men.  Not her husband kind of man, but of just random men who don’t know me from Adam, err Eve!  Before when I thought cost was my only obstacle I was ok with that, because I was the obstacle.  Now there is an arbitrary obstacle.  Now I’m pissed.  Now I want to cry.  Now I wish I had the where with all when I was in labor with Evelyn to say “NO” to that damned c-section.  Or at least ask for more time.  But no, it happened.  Not because Evelyn and I were in distress, but come to find out my doctor felt sorry for me because she thought I was tired!  TIRED?!?!??!!!  This recent development makes me want to fight for a home birth all the more.  So what I’m hoping this will be is a journey for my home birth, and if not that then helping another mom in this “Great” state to achieve her goal of a home birth!

Politics of birth in Louisiana:

This afternoon I had my first prenatal visit with my wonderfully supportive OB. I will leave his name out because birth can be so political.  He is a diamond in the rough and if I can prevent further criticism or scrutiny I will.  While pregnant with Lucy he and I discussed home birth, I mentioned this in my previous post.  I brought it up several other times, most recently a few weeks ago when I went in for a routine check-up.  As usual, when he entered the room, he greeted me with a warm smile, hug, and of course a “Congratulations!”  I didn’t even have a chance to mention anything about home birth when he said, “Are you still wanting a homebirth?”  Uhh…yes!  Without even asking, he offered his support.  I was shocked, never did I imagine it would be THAT easy!  Thank you Lord!  He assured me that it was a safe decision.  He was impressed with how I managed my pain during the birth with Lucy.  He also said we have a great relationship.  If he were in front of the courts he would not be so outwardly supportive and would likely discuss the risks.  But again said, but you know that so much of this decision is relational. He went on, “ If my group finds out and they don’t’ support it, that’s fine. “  I explained that eventhough my pelvis has been “proven” I would still likely have to go in front of the medical board and I would need in writing that he is my back-up.  He replied, “That’s fine, I’ll put it in writing!”  I nearly cried, I couldn’t believe it. 

It’s not all a done deal.  I now have to determine the next steps: mainly the Louisiana Medical Board.  But just like that, I have a supportive OB!  After his offer to support me I wanted to convey that I did not at all want to put him in a difficult situation.  He is a diamond in the rough for moms wanting VBAC and I didn’t want to jeopardize care for moms in the future, or even cause strife in his marriage.  If he came up on the chopping block, a whole host of moms would be by his side to support him.  While he appreciated the concern he assured me that he felt very comfortable with this decision. 

Encouraging a supportive mate:

Initially, Taylor was nervous about the idea of a homebirth, understandably so.  He wasn’t shocked at the idea because we began talking about the possibility of a homebirth during Lucy’s pregnancy.  But he didn’t spend the hours upon hours that I did researching the risks and benefits of homebirths.  For several weeks in a row, after prenatal visits with our OB and midwife I asked if he was sure about a homebirth.  I think midway through the pregnancy something in him clicked.  After a visit with our midwife he said, “It just makes sense.  Why wouldn’t we have a homebirth with Sherri?  She has so much experience.”  Through the rest of the pregnancy he would continue to make comments about this.  My mind had been made up months prior, but if he was truly not comfortable with the situation then I was open to a birth at the hospital with our OB.  Eventually, his main concern became being sure the window in our carport was covered.  (things went too quickly for that to ever happen).  One night in bed  to we talked about who would catch the baby.  He was resolved to be the one.  I was surprised.  With Evelyn’s birth I don’t think he had much desire to see the actual birth and the thought of cutting the cord was a bit much for him.  Then with Lucy, he watched the birth and eagerly cut the cord.  And now he wanted to be the one who caught our baby girl.  I find it interesting that in our own way both Taylor and I evolved from one pregnancy to the next.  Thankfully, we evolved in the same direction, with the same common goal.

Prenatal Visits:

My midwife attended Lucy’s birth as my montrice and already had a working relationship with my OB.  As labor support teams go, they were dynamic and very supportive.  They also have a great deal of respect for each other.   As an HBAC, with a proven pelvis, there were certain guidelines I had to follow with regard to prenatal visits: how many times I had to see the OB, labs, tests, etc.   As evidence of their great relationship my midwife said, “do whatever tests and however many visits the doc wants you to,” and my doctor said, “what does Sherri want you to do?”  I never received care or information that contradicted each other, in many ways they were merely an extension of the other person. 

Given that my midwife is the director of the midwifery program at SLCC in Lafayette, prenatal visits went differently than most homebirth prenatals.  In the beginning, the girls and I drove out to SLCC and did our visit in a small classroom with my midwife and about a dozen student midwives.  I loved it, the girls did too.  I love talking birth and so to be in a room with that many women who view birth the same way you do and you are the main topic of conversation, what’s not to love?  I had no problem letting 13 sets of hands feel the positioning of the baby, ask questions, and then return to feel again.  Goodness knows we need more midwives and I had no problem being the mom they could practice their skills with.

In the 3^rd trimester we began having prenatal visits in our home.  The girls loved when Sherri came over.  She let them each use a measuring tape and even borrow her stethoscope.  It became commonplace at our house after visits that Evie would take my blood pressure and Lucy would try to measure me.  They spoke very affectionately about Sherri and when they discovered that they missed out on a prenatal visit they were not all that pleased with me.

The Birth

My EDD was January 16.  Sherri expected that I would go about a week late.  I went late with Lucy and she also found that first time home birth moms  tended to go late.  This very likely probability made it easy to make a surprise visit up to Ohio at week 37-38 of the pregnancy.  Being that far along made my family a little uneasy but I assured them that this baby was coming late, so I had WEEKS to go.  I was back in Baton Rouge on January 5.  The next day I attended a beautiful shower thrown by two wonderful girlfriends for Melissa and I.  January 13 Josie was born.  Everyone was shocked.  Good thing I didn’t extend my trip to Ohio!

Friday, January 11

The week leading up to Josie’s birth I was a nesting machine and thankfully Taylor was on his regularly scheduled 7 days off.  Here’s a laundry list of what I accomplished:

*grocery shopping to prepare for the apocalypse (snacks, produce, towels for the homebirth, diapers, breast pads, etc)

*2 batches each of jambalaya and red beans and rice

*homemade honey sticks and laborade for myself and 2 girlfriends

*  finished Josie’s quilt and attempted to finish her afghan (carpal tunnel got in the way)

*put away 6 baskets of laundry, washed another 10 loads

*organized two closets, cleaned out the toy room, cleaned our upstairs living room, cleaned our bedroom

*somewhat cleaned out the van and wrote out directions for my friend who would keep the girls when I went into labor

*solidified arrangements for my MIL to come into town MLK weekend to help even if there was no baby

And of course the regular day to day mother/housewife type stuff.  We even managed to go to the library, attend MOPS, go to a birthday party, clean up a friend’s son’s vomit, and best of all have a wonderful date night with my husband to celebrate our belated 5 year anniversary.  Needless to say we packed a lot in! 

So, back to Friday.  Friday afternoon my husband returned to work for his weekend of nights.  That evening I began feeling quite a bit of pressure on my cervix and what I thought might be contractions.  I refused to post anything on facebook about this progress because I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.  After all, my midwife and I were expecting that I go 1 week late, not one week early. So while I didn’t post anything on my own page I had a moment of weakness and posted in the mother to mother ICAN group.  They were all supportive telling me things like: enjoy your last few days as a family of 4, rest, etc.  All through the pregnancy I told myself that the baby would come around Jan 24, not the 16, so when it came close to my due date I wouldn’t be making “impatient” facebook posts.  Yet here I was doing just that.  So while I slipped in this one area, I wasn’t letting myself do any sort of “do it yourself” induction methods.  There was no intentional eating of spicy foods, no pressure points, no pineapple, and I really didn’t even give much thought to whether I was taking my EPO.  I really was comfortable with the baby coming whenever.  But of course if she wanted to come early that would be fine.  Late that night I thought, “maybe she isn’t coming because I haven’t given Kate directions for the girls.”  So I sent her an email with our routines.  She would be borrowing our van and I knew I clean it out, but 11PM was a bit too late for that.  No baby.

Saturday, January 12

Saturday morning, after spending another evening kind of sleeping on the couch, I awoke to discover I had lost my mucous plug.  I was pleasantly surprised.  But remembered it didn’t necessarily mean all that much.  I could go into labor hours later or not for 2 more weeks.  But, it was progress and it was a sign that I wouldn’t stay pregnant forever. 

The girls and I went over to a friend’s house for a birthday party.  I continued to notice discharge when I went to the bathroom and I still had some contractions, but not like the night before.  I took it somewhat easy and didn’t feel totally bad letting my friends keep an eye on my girls.  At one point a friend’s boy threw-up.  She wasn’t in a position to clean it up so I helped.  It took sometime for people to realize what I was doing and my friend Bethany said, “I just realized you’re cleaning the floor.  Why are YOU cleaning the floor?!”  I jokingly yelled back, “I want to have this baby, leave me alone!”  When I got home Taylor put the girls down for naps.   I dealt with the homebirth linens: sheets in brown bags, folded 6 towels, 6 washcloths and 6 blankets.  I gathered the outfits I would want the baby in first.  I organized the birth basket: honey sticks, peri bottles, lidocaine, chapstick, etc.  Lastly, I did a half-ass job of cleaning out the van.  Upon completing that I thought, “now the baby can come.”

That evening I remember spending a little bit more time with Evie than usual when I put her to bed.  The thought crossed my mind, “what if this is the last time I put her to sleep before the new baby?”  Weird how I had these little inklings.

Sunday, January 13

I spent another evening sleeping on the couch.  I woke up around 5:30 or so and had to use the restroom.  I returned to “bed” and had a feeling something may happen today.  But I still wasn’t convincned.  Statistically natural birthing moms go into labor at night, so I thought at the very least I had 12-14 more hours before labor of anything started.  6AM:  Laying on the couch, watching HGTV, I felt a small “pop.”  As someone who has had a cesarean, the first thing that came to my mind was, “oh great, hope that wasn’t my uterus.”  I stayed still and didn’t really feel anything else.  Then I had the urge to go pee.  As soon as I sat up I felt a gush, it stopped me in my tracks.  “Oh crap!”  Not only had my water broken but I only had on a panty liner and I did not want amniotic fluid on my couch!  Walking as quickly and awkwardly as possible, so as to not leak everywhere, I made my way to the bathroom.  Sure enough, once I sat more fluids came and my underwear was soaked.  “Oh crap!”  I turned on the shower, my hair was in desperate need of a washing.  Almost immediately I began crying.  Evelyn’s birth started with broken bags of water and ended in a very unnecessary cesarean.  I began to tearfully pray: “Lord, you are over this birth.  You will do what is best.  Please, Lord.  Please, Lord.”  I began thinking, “I had my VBAC, maybe God’s will was only 1.”  I finished my shower and let that be the end of those thoughts.   And I slipped into a pair of depends.

6:15 AM: I called my midwife.  I know she was surprised to hear from me, I was only 39w4d.  “My water just broke.”  I proceeded to tell her about the contractions Friday and the mucous plug Saturday.  I was presently not really having any contractions or at least none that I would pay attention to if my water had not just broken.  She told me to go back to bed and see if a pattern developed.  She planned to come over later in the morning to see how things were progressing.  She assured me that we had about 12-18 hours before we needed things to get going.  That brought me some relief.  However,  I knew returning to bed would not be an option.  I began making myself breakfast: egg and sausage sandwich.  While waiting for the food to cook I French braided my hair, something I’ve wanted done during the other births but never managed to make it happen. 

6:30 AM: Contractions started and so I downloaded the contraction APP on my phone.  This was MUCH easier than using a stop watch and writing it all down, like I did for Lucy for 2 straight hours.  It didn’t take very long for me to have to stop what I was doing each time I had a contraction.   I started breakfast for the girls and began packing their suitcase for their stay with Jon and Kate.  Around 7AM or so Evie woke up.  I began to prep her for what would happen that day: mama was going to have the baby today, she was going to play with Haven and sleep at her house.  She was very excited about everything.  Contractions were still going strong: 5 minutes apart and approximately 30 seconds long.  I debated whether I wanted to have the girls infront of a video and then realized the contractions weren’t getting any weaker, so I got over any mom guilt.  Eventually Lucy woke up and she eagerly joined Evie at the table for breakfast and Pocoyo. 

8:19AM:  I called Kate to let her know my water had broken but I had no idea how long things would go.  I wanted to be mindful of the fact that the first service at church started at 9 and being the pastor’s wife I was sure what all she needed to do.  I asked her to come get the girls, but there was no rush.  Even if it would take hours  for labor to get started I knew I didn’t want to have them hanging around, especially since I was letting Taylor sleep as long as possible after working nights.  She got someone to cover announcements for church and was waiting on our friend Amber to come with her so she could pick up our van.

9:11AM:  I called Sherri and let her know I definitely had a consistent labor pattern: 5 minutes apart 30 seconds each.  She told me she was on her way.  Meanwhile the girls were still strapped into their chairs eating breakfast and watching Pocoyo.  Everytime Lucy saw me have a contraction she’d say: “Fussy?”  “Sleeping?”

9:40AM: The girls were still settled into their chairs eating and watching Pocoyo.  The contractions were starting to change a bit, I was feeling them more in my pelvis.  I decided it would probably be wise to wake-up Taylor.  I slowly walked up the stairs and quietly woke him.  Our conversation went like this:  “Taylor, my water broke and I’m having contractions.”  Taylor: “What?  Really?”  I continued: “My water broke at 6, contractions started around 6:30, they are 5 minutes apart and 30 seconds long.  Kate should be here any minute to get the girls and Sherri is on her way.”  At this point though I didn’t really need him to help me with the contractions, but I had a feeling things were changing and progressing quickly.  As I walked out our bedroom door I heard Kate and Amber enter the house to get the girls.  We chatted a bit and the I had to grab the chair for a contraction.  And then I directed them to all the stuff to load into the van.  Five minutes later I had another contraction.  But this contraction was a little shorter but I was feeling it in my pelvis.  A few minutes later, less than 5, I had another contraction, probably not as long as 30 seconds.  I had stopped timing my contractions once both the girls were up.  It was evident that I was indeed in labor and trying to keep track of them with the girls around was useless.  Before leaving Kate said, “Once you start groaning you know it’s gonna be coming soon.”  Within 5 minutes of them leaving I had 3 contractions.  She and Amber prayed over me, which I greatly appreciated.  I kissed Evie and Lucy goodbye in the van.  Evie was SO excited that the baby was going to be coming soon.  Taylor came down with enough time to also say goodbye to the girls.

Contractions were coming more frequently and with greater intensity.  In between each contraction I gave him orders of last minute things: clearing a space in the living room for the birth tub, put a sheet on the bed in the toy room, lay the tarp down on the floor, etc.  I had several contractions holding onto the wall by the stairs.  But then I realized that the counter in the kitchen may provide better support, plus I had a hankering for an apple. In between contractions I sliced the apple and nibbled when I could.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that I needed him to be present during the contractions.  I didn’t necessarily need him to do anything, but I didn’t want to feel alone.  After a contraction I would send him back to a task and a few minutes later I’d yell and he would come running.  I could tell I was not managing them well and I was starting to feel a lot of pressure. I didn’t vocalize it but I felt like I could start pushing.  I wanted to sway and I wanted to do light squats but it was more pressure than I could handle.  In between contractions I swayed and that helped a bit but for some reason when a contraction came it was very difficult for me to move.  I knew the baby was going to come soon and I did not want to do it without Sherri. 

10:39AM:  I told Taylor to call Sherri and let her know that I felt like I needed to push.  I was still laboring at the kitchen counter.  I was moaning and praying: “Oh, Lord.  Please Lord.”

11:00AM: Sherri arrived.  It didn’t take long for her to realize that our baby girl was coming quick.  I got bits and pieces of a conversation between she and Taylor…essentially they were both surprised how quickly things progressed.  Her first thought was to fix the tub and then I said, “She’s coming.”  Sherri responded: “Ok, where do you want to birth her.”  I replied, “I don’t care.  She’s coming.”  Taylor helped me to start walking toward the toy room and stopped in my tracks right outside the door.  I started to push and yelled, “She’s coming.”  I think I had two contractions there.  My butt was aching.  Sherri urged me to at least make it to the bed and get off my feet because it would make it better for my butt.  It was nearly impossible to walk, it was such a strange feeling.  Every step was painful.  I finally made it to the bed in what seemed to take an eternity.  I hastily grabbed what pillows I could and leaned over the bed.  The pushing continued.  My pushing with Lucy was quite calm and quiet.  This experience was quite different.  I knew it would be counterproductive to yell but there was no way in hell I could push quietly.  So somewhere between a yell and a groan the words that got me through were “Oh lord Jesus.  Please Lord.  Come out.  Please.”  In desperation I inquired, “Is she coming?”  Sherri assured me that she was.  I felt so desperate, I didn’t want to push for hours like I did for Lucy.  I groaned: “It’s burning.”  I knew that was a good sign, but it didn’t help me at all.  I felt her head crown and then before I knew it I felt pressure and her going back up.  I cried out, “No!  Don’t go back up!”  And then in my mind it felt like everything stopped.  I guess that’s the break in contractions that they talk about during the pushing stage.   Before I knew it I had another contraction I started pushing her little head out again.  But things were different this time.  Her head was crowning but was moving all around and simultaneously I was feeling that same pressure that occurred when she went back up inside.  I felt like Sherri was pushing her back up inside and man was I pissed, but I didn’t say a thing.  Sherri could tell I was frustrated and she explained that her head was out but she was turning it around to get the right positioning.  I asked again, “Is she coming?  Can you see her?”  She laughed and said, “she’s here, she’s coming.”  This gave me great hope.

11:21AM:  I bared down and pushed again and could feel her body squirm out of me.  Before I knew it she was in my arms and I was crying and laughing!  My little girl was born, in my house!  Holy crap!  I was done!  5 hours and 21 minutes and my baby was born!  Apparently when all goes well my body is meant to birth quickly. 

After the birth it was great to sit relaxed in my own bed, in my own home.  There was no hustle and bustle.  No one scrubbing on the baby, no measuring tape, no whisking her off to get measurements and weight that would remain the same several hours later.  I sat reclined on the bed waiting to birth the placenta.  About 20-30 minutes later Charlotte, the student midwife arrive, and she helped with the placenta.  Once the placenta was out and the cord was cut Taylor and I were left alone.  Sherri and Charlotte were charting, cleaning up from the birth, cleaning linens, and even folding laundry from the day before.  The only time they really came into the room was when I needed to use the bathroom.  Periodically one of them would come in to check my blood pressure, but it was very peaceful and not at all the big charade it is in the hospital.  I had no tearing and likely didn’t lose more than 200ml of blood (if that’s the measurement).    

Throughout the remainder of the day I would laugh and say, “I’m SO glad I’m not still in labor.”  “She’s here, can you believe she’s here already.”  And, “If this were Lucy, I’d be laboring for 12 more hours!” 

Several hours post partum  Sherri, Charlotte, Taylor and I began talking about the events of the morning and how we all had these little inklings to do things slightly different.  We all knew something was going to happen, only God knew that our little Josie would be born.  A friend of mine sent me a message after hearing of her birth that said, “Congratulations, I knew there was a reason you were on my mind all morning.”  This was the sense that we all had. I then started thinking what would have happened if I instead planned a hospital birth.  Josie would have been born in the parking lot, if we even made it that far.  I had no way of knowing how quickly things would progress and given Lucy’s birth it took hours and hours to progress to the pushing stage.  And once I got to that point it was still several more hours before she was born.  Then if I did make it into the hospital before she was born it would have been an absolute zoo.  I could imagine how frantic the nurses would have been trying to hook me up to this, that and the other.  And that would not have been a very peaceful birthing environment.   God knew and it was all in His hands.

The day we found out we were expecting triplets!

Last night I discovered some bleeding.  I was a bit surprised, given that I am pregnant.  I called my midwife.  She strongly encouraged me to go right to bed and then gave me some signs to look for.  I joined Taylor on the couch and began to cry.  In my mind bleeding during pregnancy is synonymous with miscarriage.  A minute or two later I crawled into my bed, Josie was fast asleep at the foot of my bed.  I cried.  I got on pinterest and starring back at me were pins of pregnant women.  It was too much.  I shut it down and returned to my tears.  I then quietly began to to tearfully pray. Oh Lord.  Lord, if it is your will.  And that is where I lost it...how could a loss be His will.  But I returned to prayer.

I did not have a restful sleep. Every little twinge, muscle movement, or urge to pee I thought Is it happening right now?

Lucy crawled into my bed at 6:30 AM and said Mama, I want to lay with you.  I hoisted her up very carefully so as to not disturb Josie who was enjoying her early morning snack.  Not even a minute or two later did Lucy request that she watch "Twinkle, Twinkle."  I nudged Taylor and asked him to take Lucy downstairs.  He didn't argue.  What a great husband!  I was able to get another 1.5hrs of sleep before Josie woke me up to her 9 month chatter.  A few minutes after 8 AM, I called my OBs nurse to ask if she could squeeze me in today to help ease some of my anxiety.  At 9:30 I was told ultrasound would see me in, but that I would likely not need to see my OB.  9:55, Evie, Lucy, and I checked in to ultrasound.  When the ultra sound indicates there are triplets you see the OB.  It was 1 PM before the three of us were in our van headed home.

Laying on the table in the ultra sound room seeing those 3 babies and hearing their heartbeats was surreal.  I laughed, a lot.  And then it hit me...no more homebirth. Another cesarean?  Then I started to cry.  I managed to gather my composure and answer a slew of questions from the girls about "why is that thing in your booty?"  "what's on your tummy?"  We walked out of the room and I felt all the eyes of the women in the office on me and I started crying again.  I called Taylor from the busy ultra sound waiting room.  He just laughed and insisted I was joking.  When the tears came he knew it wasn't a joke.  I wish I had a camera capturing the expressions of the on-lookers as they overheard my conversation.

The girls and I made our way up to the 3rd floor, of course they each had to have a turn pressing a button in the elevator.  As if I didn't have more pressing things on my mind, HA!  I was quite relieved to see a friend, Courtney, sitting in the same OB's waiting room.  I had no filter, I just blurted out, I just found out we are having triplets.  I was all prepared for a home birth and now I am not even sure if a vaginal birth is on the table any more.  I cried, again.  Of course.

You know me, I don't go into my births with blinders on.  I like to know what I am up against.  No time like the present to start doing some research, right?  The first article I came across was a study from Scandanavia on triplet births.  The conclusion was very encouraging:  n terms of fetal outcome cesarean section in triplets is not superior to a policy of vaginal delivery. Vaginal delivery may be suggested when there are no obvious obstetrical contraindications.  Check it out for yourself Birth in Triplet Pregnancies

So, fast forward another hour or so an I finally get to see my OB.  He gave me a hug and I started to cry.  The first question out of my mouth was Is a vaginal birth even a possibility?  We proceeded to talk for another 25-30 minutes.  It's not off the table, but it's not a guarantee.  There are so many variables that will change constantly.  He will do his research and asked that I share what I find with him.  I am thankful that I have a relationship with an OB that I trust.


Now the journey begins.  Wow.  Triplets.  Spontaneous triplets.  I still can't wrap my head around it.  My thoughts have been as scattered as my emotions today:
We need a new car.
Three car seats.
How do I breastfeed 3 babies?  Do I even WANT to breastfeed 3?
How do I have a cesarean with 6 kids?
My due date is May 25, but the babies could come in March.  I could go home with no babies.
Thank God for good health insurance!  Triplet births avg 106k!
What if I have to go on bedrest?
What are the odds?
Taylor is most definitely getting fixed once these babies come!
Am I eating enough protein?
I might need those larger size maternity clothes now.
What if I go on bed rest, who will help with the girls?
Would I consider traveling to Atlanta if that were my only chance of a vaginal birth?

I am excited and simultaneously petrified.  There are so many unknowns.  My sister sent me this text today:  You are going to find out just how amazing you are and how much the Father has for you.  My good friend Cindy spoke this verse to me:  For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things.  A mom in a multiples support group said Every week is an accomplishment. I really have no clue what our future holds.  But I do have to trust God's will.  He knows what my days will be like, how big the laundry pile will get, how stinky the garbage will become, and how often I will lose it.  All I can say is He knows.